Now an international feature film!

From a very young age Nicholas van der Swart realises he is different. Try as he may, he cannot live up to the macho image expected of him by his family, by his heritage.

At the age of nineteen he enters the South African army and finds his every sensibility offended by a system close to its demise, and yet still in full force.

Author André Carl van der Merwe transports the reader into this young man’s world with evocative realism – sometimes heart-rending, sometimes with humour, always with beautiful brushstrokes of hope.

This is a long overdue story about the emotional and physical suffering endured by countless young men.